The Midlifer

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about the physical wobbly bits of mid-life — the ones that make it feel like the Pillsbury Doughboy has landed (seemingly from nowhere) around the midriff. I’m talking about the mental wobble that can sneak up on us.

Of course, it’s not exclusive to mid-life, but this stage of life does tend to come with its own set of challenges: the empty nest as kids leave home, health issues, divorce or separation, retirement (or the feeling we’ll have to work till we drop), and redundancy. And let’s not forget the growing 'Sandwich Generation' — those caught between raising children and caring for ageing relatives.

Life has a knack for reminding us who’s really in charge. It’ll throw the odd curveball now and then — but, like buses, they sometimes come all at once, knocking us off balance.

Something I notice in many fellow mid-lifers — myself included — is that we grew up in a world that wasn’t particularly emotionally open. It was still very much a post-Victorian mindset: bottle it all up and keep a stiff upper lip.

Now, don’t get me wrong — the good old British stiff upper lip has its place and can serve us well. Most of us have a decent reserve of resilience to weather life’s thwacks. But for some, it can feel like being knocked over like a skittle — left reeling and struggling to find their footing. That’s the mid-life wobble.

So, what can help when we hit a wobble?

First off, acknowledging it is a good start. Feeling a bit off? That’s perfectly normal. It’s not a sign of failure or weakness — it’s just a sign that you’re human. And once we acknowledge it, we can begin to move forward.

Stoic philosophy reminds us to focus on what we can control — our thoughts, choices, and actions — and let go of what we can’t (like external events, fate, or other people’s behaviour). If you’re a natural worrier, ask yourself: Will worrying change the outcome? That mindset shift can save time and emotional energy.

And let’s not overlook the power of social support. Think of it as a safety net made of people. Sharing how we feel — maybe even letting the lip wobble a bit — with trusted friends or family can be surprisingly comforting. Chances are, someone’s been through something similar. Knowing we’re not alone can be the secret ingredient to feeling okay again.

And finally, if you can’t quite get back on your feet, please speak to a healthcare professional. Whether you’re dealing with a slight wobble or a full-blown crisis, it might just be the nudge you need to step back, take stock, and reimagine what you really want from life.