How Saint Michael's Hospice helps children and families across Harrogate deal with their grief - Leap Year Appeal

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Emma Lee, who accessed the Just ‘B’ service provided by Saint Michael’s along with her husband and three children, wanted to raise the charity’s profile and say thank you during our Leap Year campaign which started last week.

As the hospice aims to raise £15,500 to cover the costs of providing an extra day of care this February, Emma has opened up about the help her family received when her mother-in-law passed away almost three years ago.

Just ‘B’ is a community bereavement and emotional wellbeing service provided by Saint Michael’s, giving children, young people and adults a safe and confidential space to deal with their grief.

When Emma’s mother-in-law Sue died in 2017, her then 15-year-old daughter Katie witnessed the situation and struggled to come to terms with losing her grandma.

Emma said: “Sue passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. She wasn’t feeling too well so Katie went round to check on her and found her unconscious.

“She had to call for an ambulance and saw the paramedics giving Sue CPR. The kids had always been very close to her, so it was a really heartbreaking thing for her to see.

“Katie wasn’t allowed to go in the ambulance with her and by the time she got to the hospital it was too late. The last image she has is of her grandma being carried out of the house on a stretcher.”

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Sue, who had always volunteered at the Saint Michael’s charity shop, died in hospital after suffering three heart attacks which were caused by a pulmonary embolism.

Following the tragedy, Katie went through a difficult time and her family noticed she wasn’t acting like her usual bubbly self.

Emma said: “She just wasn’t right. Katie has always been a fiery character, but she suddenly became a lot more reserved and stopped going out as much, as well as snapping at us a lot of the time.

“She became quite reclusive and would go straight to sleep as soon as she got home from school.

“When she told us that she couldn’t get the image of her grandma on the stretcher out of her head, we knew she needed some support.”

Katie’s school recommended the Just ‘B’ service, and Emma made her an appointment straight away.

She attended sessions after school once a fortnight and Emma says she soon started to get back to her old self.

She added: “The bereavement sessions worked wonders. They really helped and she has come on amazingly, like a different person.

“It was very harrowing to see how much pain she was in before she started at this amazing service.

“When we lost Sue it was like losing our world. She would always have the kids at the drop of the hat and they loved spending time with her. She was just brilliant so it is no surprise that Katie really struggled with it.

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“But having someone to talk to who was objective was the best thing for helping Katie come to terms with her grief.

“We planted a rose for Sue in the garden along with her ashes and that helped to give everyone some closure. It was an idea that came from Just ‘B’ and it was absolutely perfect.”

Emma says that Katie, now 17, wants to shout from the rooftops about Saint Michael’s and its incredible support.

After Katie’s great experience with Just ‘B’, she recommended the service to the rest of her family.

Emma, her husband James and her two other children, Liam and Lily, all accessed the counselling following Katie’s recommendation and Emma said it is one of the best decisions they have ever made.

She said: “It has been almost three years and I still don’t think we are over it but the support from Just ‘B’ has been absolutely amazing.

“We couldn’t have coped the way we have without this service and guidance. I spent so long trying to be strong for everybody else, but opening up and having a space to grieve has made the world of difference to us all.

“Saint Michael’s has always been a huge part of our lives and has a special place in our hearts. We are so grateful.”

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How Saint Michael's can help you deal with grief:

Schools and families across the Harrogate district are benefiting from an innovative service provided by specialist bereavement support service Just ‘B’ - part of Saint Michael’s wider family of support and services.

The Crisis Response Service supports families and schools following a sudden death of a family member, student or teacher.

The main focus of the service is to ensure that families and school communities have the tools and resources necessary to support their students, parents and peers in the immediate aftermath of a crisis.

Examples may include guidance on how to inform pupils, parents or teachers about a sudden death or offer of support, facilitated by the experienced crisis bereavement support team who can work with pupils or members of staff on a one-to-one support basis or in group sessions.

Just ‘B’ also provides this service to families who may need support in telling young people that someone in their life has died. Much like the support offered within schools, members of the team may offer to support families in the direct delivery of the news within the family home or at the services’ bespoke Just ‘B’ centre at Burton House, Hookstone Oval, Harrogate. The service can simply provide a supportive ear over the phone and offer guidance on how to hold such a difficult conversation.

Just ‘B’ services are provided by trained bereavement support volunteers and a small team of staff.

Those who access support from the crisis response service are also able to directly refer into the bereavement service at any time, free of charge.

And going forwards, the charity is aiming to provide a new service for children, young people and adults dealing with grief.

The ‘Walk and Talk’ initiative gives those affected by bereavement the opportunity to receive emotional support while walking outside and has now received an £8,000 grant.

The project helps those who feel more comfortable in a natural environment, rather than a traditional support room setting.

It offers clients an alternative way of accessing the service, putting them and support workers on the same footing.

The charity says having the option to walk and talk can also feel less intimidating for new clients.

The Just ‘B’ service has created a series of accessible walks designed to last an hour walking at a gentle pace.

There are also opportunities to sit down at various points and routes are also suitable for wheelchairs.

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How can you donate?

As this year is a leap year, and the cost of providing an extra day of care at Saint Michael’s Hospice is £15,500, we are asking you to support the team with raising these vital funds.

By making a donation and supporting Saint Michael’s, you are ensuring the needs of the communities they care for are met.

Your help will enable the hospice to continue supporting and caring for people who need it most in our district when they are living with a terminal illness or bereavement.

Just £10 provides a day of home-cooked meals for one patient, £50 helps facilitate a children and young person’s bereavement support session, £100 can help with putting together a special occasion for a patient and their family such as a blessing, and £650 ensures a full day of care for a patient on the Inpatient Unit.

Saint Michael’s Chief Executive Tony Collins said: “We’re proud to be launching a Leap Year appeal with the Harrogate Advertiser to help us raise £15,500 to provide an extra day of care.

“The majority of the work we do is funded by people who support us, and by donating to the appeal, you are ensuring the needs of the communities we care for across the Harrogate district are met.”

The Harrogate Advertiser is calling on the people of the town to get involved and help the Saint Michael’s Hospice to raise the £15,500 it needs to cover the Leap Year day of February 29 this year.

There are two main ways in which you can get involved and help:

You can make a donation by visiting the newly set up Just Giving page here or call 01423 878628.