Salt of the Earth: Meet Jenny Cook who is helping fight loneliness for new mothers in Knaresborough

Many of us have passionately missed friends and family, finding new and different ways to engage with our social groups both online and over the phone.

It’s almost impossible to imagine what life would be like if the lockdown restrictions were to stay in place for a year, or possibly even longer.

However, there was one section of society that was already acutely aware of what it is like to spend all day, every day alone.

Those who are elderly, disabled or suffering from ill health frequently find themselves cut off from those around them and can become increasingly lonely and isolated as a result.

People quickly realised that this group would need help and an army of volunteers mobilised to assist them.

Yet one group remained unnoticed. The new mothers. This week’s Salt of the Earth, Jenny Cook, was one of the people who took steps to help combat loneliness and isolation that can be really marked during those first weeks and months of life as a new mother.

Each week, Jenny, of Green Gate Lane, Knaresborough, runs Thula Mama, an informal singing group for women and their babies from bump to 12 months.

The group sings songs and lullabies from around the world in a-cappella harmony.

Prior to the coronavirus pandemic, they would meet in the large room above Gracious Street Methodist Church.

Jenny, 35, would make cake and the mothers would sing and chat with each other.

When lockdown was introduced, Jenny decided to take the group online. She said: “During lockdown we are continuing to sing and chat together in weekly zoom meetings at 10.15am each Friday morning.

“I am also providing sing along videos to keep everyone singing all week. Details for the zoom group are posted the night before in our Knaresborough Thula Mama Facebook group

“One of my videos, made as part of the HG Community lockdown festival, reached over 500 people according to Facebook.

“The zoom sessions run for an hour, but a face to face session normally lasts for an hour and a half.

“I think it’s really important for mums to have plenty of time to chat.

“All of the online stuff is run on a donate if you can basis, the suggested donation is £3-5 but I don’t charge anyone who can’t afford it.”

“The main aim is to help keep people singing, uplifted and connected.

Jenny, who in her previous life was a lawyer, was introduced to the group when she had her daughter six years ago. She said: “The magic of singing in harmony was the loveliest part of maternity leave. It was so creative and made me feel able to soothe my daughter better.

“Running the group is a privilege, I feel it makes such a difference to the women who come.

“It’s about giving them back a voice. Having babies can be a time that you lose that identity, for something to be about them again, that’s really important

“It makes other people happy and that makes me happy.”

Jenny said all are welcome at the online sessions: “If there is anyone who would like to join in, come and sing with us. Lots of people start by saying they can’t sing, but within a week they’re belting out the most beautiful harmonies.

You can find Thula Mama on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/knaresboroughthula/

What the mums say

Primary School Teacher Esme Young started singing with Jenny two years ago when she had her first child.

With her older child now at nursery, Esme has once again joined with Jenny. She said: “My baby really enjoys that period of time. It’s a calm period of our week.

“He enjoys the sound of singing and I think he enjoys the different sound of someone else singing too.

“It’s really lovely to have someone who is willing to put herself out there. Jenny is very giving,

“In a period of time when you can feel really cut off, nice to have someone else to take that load.”

Jen Carne has two children who have both been to Thula Mama, she said: “Technically it’s not something for babies, it’s an opportunity to meet like minded mums. It’s so wonderful that baby can watch you enjoy singing. It can be very comforting for them.

“Jenny is like an angel. She’s really got maternal mental health at the forefront of her mind . She thinks it’s so important mums to look after themselves.”

Kristina Holmes said: “Jenny found me in a coffee shop when I had just had my baby girl and handed me a flyer for Thula.

“I was a little lost in the first few weeks after becoming a mum and suffered from a bout of quite bad mummy anxiety. I joined Jenny’s Thula group, among others, and the difference it made was massive.

“She is a kind hearted, gorgeous lady who brightened up our week every Friday. I’ve now realised that singing is without doubt good for the soul as it pulled me through some quite dark times. My daughter has always loved it and we have made many long lasting friends.

People like her are very few and far between and we are very lucky to have met her and be part of some of the wonderful things that she has organised. I would highly recommend her events and groups to new mums!

The incredible coincidence

Anne-Marie Hesmondhalgh, who originally comes from Zimbabwe is currently attending Thula Mama for a second time. She explained how the group has impacted her life:

“Where I come from, we’re traditionally raised in a tribe. Singing was always a big part of our culture,

Six and a half years ago, Anne-Marie lost her daughter, Christina to cancer at the age of just 22.

She said: “A few years later we decided to have another child. My husband was working away and I looked around to see what is out there to help me in this journey of motherhood.

“The first day I went to Thula Mama in Knaresborough, I walked in and Jenny was saying ‘what shall we sing?’ The group chose Famba Naye which is a song sung in my native language.

“It was the song I chose to send my daughter off with at her funeral.

“Needless to say I bawled my eyes out. I told the group my story and told them what the lyrics meant in my native language”

“Jenny is absolutely amazing. She is leading the group but without restricting her own vulnerabilities.

“She’ll say when she’s had a wobble or a bit of a cry.

“In lockdown, we’ve all suffered with mental health and depression,

“But she’s set the platform for the group to interact with each other, it’s become about more than just singing.”

“I don’t think I could have managed without the support.”